You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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