I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
