C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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