there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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