Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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