i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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