24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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