we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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