do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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