ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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