to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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