I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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