Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
