I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize