Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
