the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
