Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
