Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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