so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
