Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I'm at about main and main street
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.