And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever