Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.