Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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