Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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