Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Blood and glitter go together right?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
