those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize