thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize