Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
