Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
