I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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