Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
