Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
