just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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