Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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