So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
