If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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