I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize