My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
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standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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