I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?