He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face