brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.