Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes