he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.