The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize