As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Less talking, more tequila
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
