Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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