Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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