Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
And then he peed in my hair
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