About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
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So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
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Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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