Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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