i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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