it's too hot outside to masturbate.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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