i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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