Im at strip club and am horny
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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