Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
