WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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